From FML to Fix My Life: A Beginner’s Reset Guide

When everything feels like “FML,” it’s heavy—and you’re not alone. I can’t help you harm yourself or make things worse, but I can walk you through simple, beginner-friendly steps to slow the spiral and start feeling a little more okay today. If you feel in immediate danger, please contact local emergency services right now.

What this tutorial covers

You’ll learn a short, practical routine to interrupt self-sabotaging urges, stabilize your body, and build small wins that compound. This isn’t about perfection—just getting you safely to tomorrow with a little more clarity.

Prerequisites

• A notebook or notes app
• A 10–15 minute window (set a timer)
• One supportive contact you can text
• A small, no-cost reward (a walk, favorite song, a warm drink)

Step-by-step reset

1) Name the spiral (5 minutes)

• Write: What happened? What am I feeling? Where do I feel it in my body? Rate intensity 0–10.
• Example prompt: “I want to blow everything up because _____. Right now I feel _____ at intensity _____.”
• Purpose: Naming reduces the urge to act on impulse.

2) Stabilize your body (2–4 minutes)

• Box breathing: Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4—repeat 4 times.
• Grounding 5–4–3–2–1: Notice 5 things you see, 4 feel, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste.
• Quick reset: Sip cold water or hold an ice cube for 30 seconds.

3) Make a 24-hour safety plan (5 minutes)

• Remove or relocate risky items (substances, triggers). Ask a friend to hold them if needed.
• If–Then plan: “If I feel like doing X (texting the ex, doomscrolling), then I will Y (message my support person, walk outside for 3 minutes).”
• Add friction: Log out of problem apps; move them off your home screen; put your wallet in another room.

4) Do one good thing (10 minutes)

• Choose a tiny task with a visible payoff: do dishes for 5 minutes, take a shower, open a window, or send one honest text to a trusted friend.
• Set a timer and play one song on repeat. Stop when the timer ends.
• Celebrate: “I did a hard thing.” Sip the warm drink or step outside as a reward.

5) Swap the script (2 minutes)

• Notice the thought: “Screw it, nothing matters.”
• Replace it: “I only need 1% better right now.” Write this on a sticky note or make it your phone lock screen.

6) Design your environment (5 minutes)

• Make the unhelpful hard: Keep only $20 cash, delete late-night food apps, charge your phone outside the bedroom.
• Make the helpful easy: Fill a water bottle before bed, put walking shoes by the door, prep a stable playlist.

Practical example

Situation: After a rough message from your boss, you want to binge social media, text your ex, and skip sleep.

• Name it: “I feel panic (7/10) and shame (6/10).”
• Stabilize: Two rounds of box breathing, sip water.
• Safety plan: If I open Instagram, then I immediately set a 3-minute timer and go outside.
• One good thing: Start laundry for 10 minutes.
• Swap script: “1% better is enough.”
• Environment: Phone charges in the kitchen; alarm set on a basic clock. Result: You break the chain and wake up with a small win instead of a spiral.

Best practices and common pitfalls

• Start tiny: Choose tasks you can complete in under 10 minutes.
• Use an accountability buddy: Send one honest check-in daily (e.g., a ✅ emoji after your “one good thing”).
• Guard sleep: Close screens 30–60 minutes before bed; keep a notepad to offload worries.
• Watch for all-or-nothing thinking: When you slip, reset the next hour—not next week.
• Pitfalls: Doomscrolling after 10 p.m., skipping meals, isolating for more than a day.

When you need extra support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for help. You deserve support, and talking to someone can make things feel lighter. If you’re in the U.S., you can call or text 988 (Lifeline). In the U.K. & ROI, call Samaritans at 116 123. In Canada, call 1-833-456-4566. In Australia, call Lifeline at 13 11 14. If you’re elsewhere, search for local services or visit Befrienders Worldwide to find helplines in your country. If you’re at immediate risk, please call emergency services now.

Conclusion and next steps

Print or save this reset as a checklist. For the next week, practice it once a day even when you feel “okay”—skills stick best in calm moments. Keep the wins small, the steps visible, and your scripts kind. You don’t have to fix everything today; you just need the next steady step.